10 Of The Best BARNEY STINSON Quotes
1: When I get sad , I stop being sad and be awesome instead! true story.
2:Whatever you do in this life is not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.
3: The only reason to wait for a month is if she’s 17 years and 11 Months old.
4:It’s gonna be legend-… wait for it… and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!.
5:Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!
O yeah he’s the coolest bro.
6: The invention of high five – Jesus waited threedays to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard he
died. They’d be all, “Hey Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably
be like, “What up? I died yesterday!”
and they’d be all, “Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…” and
then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a
miracle, and the dude’d be like “Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro…”
And he’s not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody’s busy, doing chores, workin’ the loom, trimmin’ the beard,
NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it’s Sunday, so
everyone’s in church already, and they’re all in there like “Oh no, Jesus
is dead”, and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin’ up the aisle,
everyone’s totally psyched, and FYI, that’s when he invented the high five.
That’s why we wait three days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus
wants us to wait…. True story.
ISN’T THIS GUY JUST AWEEEESOOOMMEEEEE?
7: In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.
This is true SWAG
8: Here’s the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.
9: Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume, in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression.
10: That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani-clad and fully awesome.